Doing it when I don't want to.

So today I was just having one of those days.  My sleep schedule is sooo messed up, leaving me confused most of the time about whether it is daytime or nighttime, and often very sleepy because I continuously try to correct the sleep schedule and stay up all day.   Also I started my period today and felt just pretty blah, sensitive, and crampy.  

The LAST thing I wanted to do was my 45 minute Kundalini practice. 

I could hear my brain trying to talk me out of it.  "It won't matter if you miss a day of yoga," it lied to me.  "You don't have the energy right now."   Stuff like that, but fortunately...I had OTHER self-talk going on, that empowered me onwards...

"Just sit down, arrive, and let it happen.  Listen to Gurmukh." 

I really really didn't want to.  I was in such an annoyed mood this morning.  But I have made a commitment towards doing yoga for 30 days...and to be honest, I thought of this blog, Yoga Sangha, and how the members of my spiritual community are helping to hold me accountable for my own mental states.  It really helps to associate with people who are on similar paths and have similar goals. 

So I did it.  I felt resistance the entire time and my mind felt very restless except after I got to the hopping/punching one to release anger and the hand shaking exercise to restore nerve energy.  That really did me in.  I was pouring sweat and all my resistance was gone.  I blanked out and don't remember the rest, but I know I felt peace. 
 
I'm very thankful I got myself to practice yoga...I felt in a much improved mood afterward.  

Note to self: do it when you don't want to.